Motherhood: the ideal vs reality
The chaos of children makes for a good life anyway.
When I was pregnant, my husband gifted me with a book called “No more perfect moms”. While I am by no means a perfectionist, he knew that I would have high expectations of myself as a mother - basically that I was subconsciously assuming that I would be able to slot in the whole ‘having a kid’ thing without too much disruption to everything else. I expected that I would be just as on top of my household duties, writing and socialising as before, except now while being a perfect mother too.
Boy, does he know me well! Motherhood has taught me a lot of things, one being that ideal expectation is hardly ever reality. To be fair, I’ve been lucky with a lot of things – I wanted a natural birth without painkillers and I had one, and I wanted to breastfeed and that worked out too. But more recently, there have been things – some out of my control and some within it – that are less than ideal. However, as I’ve learnt, they’re still okay.
For one: no baby in our bed. At least, that was the plan, and it worked a treat for the first five months or so. But then slowly, for the sake of my sleep and sanity, it was easier to let her feed and fall asleep next to me rather than take the time to settle her back in the cot in the middle of the night. And to be honest, there’s something so adorable about the way she snuggles with her daddy and I – we’ll miss that when she’s a grown-up independent woman! Instead of lamenting how I “failed” with this plan, I still put her in the cot when I can but otherwise I’m enjoying the perks of how it turned out.
And then there’s food. On the one hand, there’s the fact that my daughter just refuses the bottle, whatever is in it. This would be my fault, considering that my mum-guilt of wanting to breastfeed exclusively for six months meant I attempted the bottle later than most. But in the last few weeks, multiple mothers have told me of their kids who also didn’t take bottles, and went straight to a sippy-cup! Hardly the end of the world.
Also on food - my ideal mum self would have cooked and pureed every baby meal from scratch, without ever having to buy pre-packed baby food. But then I discovered that baby food isn’t the preservative-filled mush it used to be: these days it’s just fruit and veggies, with no added anything, easy to transport and easy to feed. It’s just the biggest convenience in a busy day! And while I still do mash things for her now and then, I’ve decided there’s nothing wrong in taking the help.
Speaking of taking the help, I expected to not need much help. Some days, I even think that my husband and I are doing this parent thing without any help. But then I remember all the times our families babysit for us; the times my siblings push the pram while I do the groceries; the times my friends hold the baby so I can finish my meal; the huge amount of love she gets from so many people apart from ourselves. We sure aren’t doing this alone! And really, that’s one expectation I’m glad I got wrong.
What am I trying to say in all of this? Life with kids may not always be ideal; but man is it good anyway!
Norma McCorvey, who died on Saturday, was a celebrity whose very name is a household word. But she is better known as Jane Roe, the plaintiff in Roe v Wade, the 1973 case in which the Supreme Court effectively legalised abortion throughout the United States. Her lawyers told the court that Ms Roe wanted a safe and legal abortion and could not do so in the state of Texas. In fact, Ms McCorvey gave the child up for adoption.
When Ms McCorvey came out of the shadows in the 1980s, it was as a fervent pro-choice advocate. She wrote an account of her unbearably sad early life, "I am Roe", in 1994, but, to the astonishment of both side in the abortion debate, only a year later she became a born-again Christian and a pro-life activist. It is an amazing story. Read Sheila Liaugminas's report below.
Michael Cook
Editor
MERCATORNET
| ‘The Great Wall’ fails to bring down the barriers in lacklustre Chinese-US epic By Joyleen Christensen The largest film ever shot entirely in China and the most expensive in the country’s history is a bit muddled. Read the full article |  |
| Norma McCorvey’s death highlights Jane Roe’s conversion to life By Sheila Liaugminas She founded ‘Roe No More’ two decades ago to expose abortion lies. Read the full article |  |
| Motherhood: the ideal vs reality By Tamara El-Rahi The chaos of children makes for a good life anyway. Read the full article |  |
| Cities: life in the slow lane? By Marcus Roberts Researchers suggest that city dwellers have a "slow life strategy". Read the full article |  |
| Pre-Reformation church music: plainchant, polyphony and popular songs By Chiara Bertoglio A passionate debate about liturgical music raged at the beginning of the 16th century. Read the full article |  |
| Dear Warren: Contraception going well, newborn mortality not so well By Carolyn Moynihan Bill and Melinda Gates report on how they have been spending a philanthropic windfall. Read the full article |  |
| Hacksaw Ridge By Luisa Cotta Ramosino A story of atypical heroism at the height of the Pacific war. Read the full article |  |
| Somalia has a new president By Mathew Otieno He brings much needed hope to the battered nation. Read the full article |  |
| After the exile: poetry and the death of culture By Anthony Esolen Who the heck is Spenser? Read the full article |  |
| Which European countries have over 40% of their population migrating? By Marcus Roberts And which sends out the absolute largest number of migrants? Read the full article |  |
| So many things By J. Budziszewski Young people are caught in a media mudslide that destroys intellectual depth. Read the full article |
MERCATORNET | New Media Foundation
Suite 12A, Level 2, 5 George Street, North Strathfied NSW 2137, Australia
Designed by elleston
New Media Foundation | Suite 12A, Level 2, 5 George St | North Strathfield NSW 2137 | AUSTRALIA | +61 2 8005 8605
Motherhood: the ideal vs reality
.png)
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario